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If your kids are too old for breastfeeding and diapering, "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World" might be more attuned to your needs. This book is more overtly psychological, but then the world of preteens and teens tends to be this way. And the authors certainly hit the nail on the head with the major theme of the book—how to balance healthy self-confidence and individualism with unhealthy selfishness and self-indulgence. This is a theme that many adults could find useful for themselves, as well as for their children. The book stresses the development of personal capabilities and perceptions. Chapters cover the fostering of intra- and interpersonal skills, systemic skills (such as responsibility, adaptability and cause and effect) and judgmental skills. Although the skills mentioned are to be instilled in the child, one really cannot do this without rethinking and re-enforcing them in oneself. This is an important task, for the strength of the book is not so much in advice, but in making apparent the things we overlook as parents. All too often we fall into old habits, and neglect the uniqueness of a situation. This book stresses the importance of dialog between parent and child, which any parent knows is more easily stated than done. Yet by treating your child as a unique, subjective, and sensitive being, rather than a possession, jabberwocky, or little devil put on earth to make your life stressful, some steps in the right direction can be made. The book includes several exercises for achieving
this goal, including a comparison of the situation of a child today
with a child born before WWII. The changes in the last fifty years
have been immense, and (as issues such as school violence show us) not
all for the better. The chapter on perception is especially useful in
putting things in perspective. As are the comparisons, with vivid
examples, of some of the more common mistakes made when children and
parents interact. Although the book tends to idealize politeness and
rationality, it nevertheless is a valuable tool for seeing the world
through another’s eyes, which seems to be the primary skill of
parenting.
Reviewed by Kenn Kassman A companion book to "Raising Self-Reliant Children" (by the same publisher and one of the same authors), is "Positive Discipline for Teenagers." This is a denser book than the previous one, both in terms of pages and practical advice. It is aimed at parents of slightly older children (teens rather than preteens), and addresses many of the popular teenage issues. The four major sections cover the individuation process of evolving teenagers, non-punitive parenting, normal versus dysfunctional behavior, and an appendix of activities supporting the themes of the various chapters. The primary approach is similar to the books above, stressing greater understanding, communication and love. The chapters are full of "real life" examples, which as with its companion book, seem a bit over-idealized and naive. Still, there is enough useful information and parenting strategies in the book to make up for this. I particularly like the emphasis on long-range parenting, or parenting for the long term benefit of the child rather than on the immediate, and oftimes over-emotional level. Another valuable theme here is the issue of letting go of parental control and encouraging positive personal growth in your teen. A quote from the foreword sums up the difficulty in this process: "We are born twice: once our mother does the labor, and once we do the labor during adolescence—and the second time is frequently harder on us and our mothers." "Positive Discipline" offers good advice for both parent and child as to how to survive this second birth, growing closer as we grow apart. It’s an incredible task, seemingly impossible, but books like this offer a sense of perspective, the knowledge that we are not alone in having certain problems, and they encourage us to hone our parenting skills as best we can. The authors of both books offer seminars for parents and educators. A schedule, list of other books on this topic, and a free newsletter is available from: Empowering People Books, Tapes, and Videos, P.O. Box 1926, Orem, UT, 84059, or in the USA call toll free 1 800456 7770 You can buy this book by clicking here.
Reviewed by René Wadlow The arrest in Kenya by Turkish security agents in February 1999 of the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK) leader Abdullah Ocalan and the spectacular demonstrations by Kurdish supporters throughout Western Europe focused international attention on the role of the Kurds in Turkey. As the authors of this important study indicate, "The Kurdish question in Turkey is a highly complex, controversial and extremely politically sensitive issue. And because of its trans-state nature, developments in northern Iraq in particular are also causing additional complications for Turkish decision-makers." Kemal Kirisci has already written a useful study of the international relations of the PLO and so is familiar with a movement working in difficult conditions to create an independent state. Both Kirisci and Winrow teach political science at Bogazici University in Istanbul and so are close observers of the Turkish political scene. They are sensitive to the fact that expressions of concern for the Kurds in Turkey "could incite Turkish nationalist extremists to resort to violence in order to pre-empt what they might fear to be the first steps toward the break-up of the state." The study begins by reviewing the concepts of nation, ethnic group, ethnic nationalism, minority rights and self-determination. The authors trace the parallel growth of Kurdish and Turkish nationalism during the breakdown of the Ottoman Empire. During the Ottoman period, religion was the main factor of identification and division. Kurds and Turks were grouped together in "the house of Islam," while others, Christians and Jews, existed in a largely self-governing millet system. The Kurdish question is an element in the transformation of the Ottoman Empire into modern Turkey—a shift from a traditional society, where identities were religiously determined at a communal level, to a modern society where the aim was to define an individual’s identity at the state level. At the state level, there are only Turkish citizens. The dilemma is whether all citizens are also ethnic Turks or whether they can also have another ethnic identity while still having all the rights of a citizen. The first period of the Turkish state (1924 to 1945) said that everyone was a Turk even if he did not know it. The theory was that as the Turks had come from Central Asia, they had absorbed all prior inhabitants, even those like the Kurds, who lived in isolated mountain areas and spoke a non-Turkic language. The state propaganda through history teaching and linguistics was to insist that everyone was a Turk, even those who had forgotten the fact. The Kurds were "mountain Turks." As often happens when history and linguistics are used for political ends, counter history and linguistics arise. Intellectual Kurds started to study their history, and little by little, an intellectual structure of Kurdishness developed, after the Second World War. Although most Kurds thought of themselves in narrow Tribal terms, among intellectuals and politically-aware individuals, a pan-Kurdish identity started to grow and saw kinship with the Kurds in Iraq, Iran, Syria, and parts of the then USSR. In the 1920’s and 1930’s, there had been short-lived but violent Kurdish revolts against the centralizing tendencies of the Turkish government. But tribal chiefs or charismatic religious leaders usually led these revolts. It was not until 1984 that the PKK, made up largely of Marxist-influenced youth independent of traditional Kurdish tribal leaders, started a program of violence against the Turkish state and against Kurds seen as allies of the Turkish government. The PKK was strong in the poor mountainous areas where the state had difficulty to penetrate. The PKK had military bases in northern Iraq and training camps in Syria. The Turkish government’s first reaction was to consider this violence as terrorism and to treat it as a military problem to be solved militarily. This is still the attitude of many political figures and most of the military. But after 15 years of violence, many dead and villages destroyed, the PKK is still there. The PKK does not necessarily represent the majority of the Kurdish people, but the arrest of Ocalan has touched a wide cord of sympathy even among those Kurds who reprove the violence and sectarian spirit of the PKK. Kirisci and Winrow outline some of the elements that could lead to compromise and an end to violence. Above all, there is a need to establish some basis of trust. There is a need for a general democratization of the Turkish state so that all views may be freely expressed. There is a need for a decentralization of authority and political initiative, as well as economic programs to reach all areas of the country. With a certain amount of good will, the violence in Turkey could diminish, but the road to calm may still be long. As the authors state, "Within Turkey itself, hopes for further democratization and devolution of decision-making powers, the development of a dialogue, and the possible emergence of multiculturalism based on a real and genuine civic nationalism still remain at present only hopes. Not all Turkish officials and political parties are willing to accommodate moves toward further democratization and pluralism…. At the same time, there is a tendency among many Kurdish radicals to pursue a policy based on what amounts to exclusive ethnic nationalism." There are no easy solutions, but time will not heal
by itself. There must be leadership both among Turks and Kurds to
break out of the sterility of violence and build a base for a
democratic and liberal society.
Reviewed by Dada Jyotirupananda In this series, Timothy Freke—traveler, teacher and student of various esoteric traditions—has compiled a plethora of quotations and stories to illustrate the positive, uplifting essence of six spiritual traditions. These include: Christian Mystics, Hindu Gurus, Pagan Philosophers, Sufi Sages, Tibetan Lamas and Zen Masters. This series of chapbooks are quite useful both as gifts and to give the reader a glance at some of the more universal ideas to come from these teachings and religions. None of the volumes pretends to be a comprehensive study; but in books averaging 60 pages, it’s hard to do better than he did in giving some reasonable view of these teachings. Each volume starts with a short introduction by Mr. Freke. Each of the four to six chapters per volume also briefly introduces the topic of the chapter. As I am somewhat schooled in yogic practices I first picked up "The Wisdom of the Hindu Gurus." I was satisfied with his introduction, considering that two pages can’t pretend to sum up ten to fifteen millennia of spiritual development, thought and practice. "The various Hindu spiritual paths, known as ‘yogas’ are different routes to the same truth." True enough, though I would have preferred he explain that he’s (apparently) using the term Hindu in the older sense, to refer to India itself, rather than in the more narrow sense of a particular religious doctrine. Perhaps because this is not a historical book, he didn’t mention that many of the spiritual practices and philosophies of India were born far before there was anything called the Hindu ‘religion.’ Reading through all the volumes one can see that Freke does a good job of finding the more universal truths of each tradition. Can he be saying that the one essential truth has simply found various interpretations, depending on time, place and person? Some samples: "The intense desire for God-realization is itself the way to it." – Anandamayii Ma (Hindu Gurus) "All meditation must begin with arousing deep compassion." – Milarepa (Tibetan Lamas) "You are a fragment torn from God. You have a portion of him within you." – Epictetus (Pagan Philosophers) "The one that brought me here, will have to take me home." – Rumi (Sufi Sages) "God is nearer to me than I am to myself." – Meister Eckhart (Christian Mystics) "When everything is seen as one, we return to the source and stay where we always have been." – Seng-T’san (Zen Masters) The illustrations and design of the series is quite exquisite and
this alone will certainly attract a fair amount of readers. This article was published in New Renaissance,
Volume 9, No. 1, issue 27 |
